Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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