So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
