Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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