haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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