Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
