The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
