i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
