I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
