Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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