Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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