she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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