you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
