How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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