In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
