I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
