you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
