I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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