i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm always down for nudity.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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