i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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