There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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