She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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