everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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