No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
