Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
