Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
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At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
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He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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