i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize