How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You need Xanax blowdarts
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
