Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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