happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My life is pants optional.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
