PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
