Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
