I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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