Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Randomize
