I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
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You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
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It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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