I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
