Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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