I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
