I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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