All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
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So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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