Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
