things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
