Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
