I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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