dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
