I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize