Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Christians are straight up FREAKS
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
