I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
