Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
