We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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