Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I puked a lego.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
