I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
