I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
