Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
