Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
