Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
