We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have fence marks all over my body
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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