Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize