sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
