can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
they're like a gay fantastic four
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
