Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Drunk is not a location!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
